Je ne sais pas si cette excuse marcherait au Québec…

Mais monsieur l’agent, je ne parlais pas au téléphone, je me réchauffais l’oreille avec mon téléphone cellulaire.

Je doute que ça marche mais ça coute rien d’essayer si vous vous faites arrêter

Via Switched

Il était une fois, un colon américain qui voulait poser une antenne satellite sur son toit. Il essayait de poser sa maudite antenne mais il avait de la difficulté à faire les trous. Il a donc eu la brillante idée de prendre son .22 pour faire un bon trou à travers le mur mais sa femme se trouvait de l’autre coté de ce mur. Elle a donc reçu la balle dans la poitrine. Sa mort fut constaté à l’hopital.

Le bon côté de l’histoire c’est que l’homme peut maintenant écouter sa tv… sans se faire déranger par sa femme (oui, je sais que c’est de mauvais gout!)

Il y a combien de nouvelles sorte de grateux qui arrivent dans nos dépanneurs à chaque mois? Car j’ai l’impression que Loto-Qué bec ne sait plus quoi faire pour vendre leurs billets.

Leur nouvel arrivage, Le loto-ipod. une chance sur environ 2000 de gagner un ipod 160Gig.

Que sera leur prochain billet ?

C’est qui le cave qui a pensé à ça?

Pour les utilisateurs de firefox et safari seulement.

Sélectionnez le paragraphe avec votre souris (le paragraphe en anglais)

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to disso
lve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume, a
mong the Powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws o
f Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of m
ankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the sepa
ration.We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,
that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that amo
ng these are Life,    Liberty,   and    the    pursuit   of    Happiness.                 That to secure these r
ights,   Governments   are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the
 consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructi
ve of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and t
o institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organiz
ing its powers in such form, as to them shall s
eem most likely to effect their S
afety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long establ
ished should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all
experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are
 sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are
accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably
 the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is
 their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new
 Guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of the
se Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their
former Syste      ms       of Government.             The history of the present King of Great Britain i
s a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object th
e establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Fac
ts be submitted to a candid world.He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wh
olesome and necessary for the public good.He has forbidden his Governors to pass
 Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation
till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglec
ted to attend to them.He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of
 large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Re
presentation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to t